Do you ever worry you won’t fit in or be liked?
Do you often stay quiet in case you say the wrong thing?
And do you get down on yourself for even small mistakes?
You might be surprised to learn that low self esteem and lack of confidence are very common, even for people who seem to have it all together.
I know lots about this, as I used to lack confidence, but the healing work I’ve done through counselling has helped me to turn this around. I can now take on things that are challenging, scary, as well as exciting, and I’m more confident and relaxed in social situations.
Here are five tips about that can be helpful to reclaim confidence in who you are and not let fear steal you away.
Remember you are unique, valuable and lovable no matter what. One way to do this is to treat yourself like you would a good friend, and do nice things for yourself, such as treating yourself to something you like, or getting your hair cut.
Don’t let fear win:
Feel the fear and do it anyway! People often assume if you are confident, you won’t feel scared, but this isn’t true. My theory about fear is that the more you do things you are afraid of, the more courage you have in the bank for the next thing. Take baby steps at first, and take your mind off yourself by reaching out to others.
Positive and assertive talk:
Be kind and encouraging to yourself in your self talk. One way to do this is to practice using affirmations that are positive and encouraging. Being assertive means asking for what you want and need from others without being aggressive or passive.
Write down a list of your strengths which can be uplifting, or use it to plan. Taking time too to write down how you feel, will usually help you feel better. I’ve been a diary writer since I was 12 and have always found it a comfort.
Heal your past:
If you try to change your habits but old anxieties remain, it may be time to talk with a counsellor about difficult past experiences that may still affect you. It can be very healing to talk with someone you trust, who can listen without judgement, and has your best interest at heart. It reminds me of unpacking a box. It isn’t until you unpack the story by telling it, that you remember a lot of details and can release the emotions tied up in it. Don’t underestimate the power of talk, laughing and tears for helping you recover from difficult past experiences.
If you would like to talk with Grace about something on your mind, take advantage of her complimentary 15 minute phone consultation, and get help right away. Click on the link below to find a time that suits your schedule https://gracefulsolutions.ca/schedule-an-appointment/